Career. Health. Social.

Week 23: Time to lock in.

I don’t think I mentioned it previously, but I’ve been working with a coach for a few weeks now. Someone who blends clinical psychology with the foundations of entrepreneurship, and specifically works with founders and CEOs. She’s also a successful founder herself, so SHE GETS IT.

In our last session, she brought up something that I’ve been really thinking about since.

There are three main areas in life: Career. Health. Social.

But only two of the three can really be in flux at the same time. So you can only pick two to prioritise.

Kinda hard, right? Well, for me it is at least, because I truly value them all and try to keep a fine balance of each of them in my life. However, the reality is that it just isn’t possible to maintain all of them at 100%, or even around there, all at once.

My first reaction was that this felt like a limitation. Something being taken away from me. Or rather, me choosing to remove something from my life. But choosing this is more like setting an intention. It’s making a sacrifice now, for something greater I want to achieve for my future.

Think of it as a permission slip.

It’s someone telling you that the version of this where you’re building a company and training properly and showing up for everyone who loves you, all at full volume, in the same six months, year, or two years, was never on the table. Not for anyone. And especially not for founders who are trying to build real businesses at the speed required to make an impact.

So the work isn’t holding all three. It’s choosing. And choosing means one of them gets set down for a while.

I think we’re a bit allergic to that in founder world. Everything gets framed as balance and boundaries, systems and processes, as if the right calendar setup resolves it all. But it doesn’t. There’s no way to arrange your week so that everything fits perfectly and nothing is lost. Doesn’t work like that, unfortunately. The loss is already happening, whether or not you’ve picked it.

Once you accept that, it becomes a much narrower question than it first looks. Not how do I fit all of this in, but: what do I want to be true in two years, and which two of these three have to be in motion for that to happen?

For me, health has always been a top priority. It’s the foundation of my wellbeing. How I feel in my body, eating whole foods as fuel, training for physical strength so I feel and look good, and working on my mind’s resilience. All of it feels critical, and without it I’d honestly go crazy.

The second is what I’m building. The mission to make this fashion tech business work, NOW, at this speed, has to trump the social side of things for a while.

Which takes social off the priority list. Like I said, not forever. For now.

Is it going to be hard? Yes. I get a lot of energy and security from my friends, and from shared interactions and experiences with them. And I’m not talking about going out partying. I mean even dinners, brunches and drinks.

So the real perplexing thought for me is this. How limiting do I need to be in order to achieve success? Where exactly do I draw the line? And honestly, I’m still figuring that out. I don’t want to go cold turkey, because that will make me feel flat, a bit depressive, and will likely stop me producing good work anyway. But I do know I need firmer boundaries around my social life for now, so that what needs to get done gets done in the right timing.

What I keep coming back to is that the choice isn’t the hard part. Naming it is. It’s easy enough to decide privately that social comes last this year, but it’s much harder to say that to the friend who’s been asking when I’m free, and to say it directly and not commit to the plan.

So that’s my work this next little bit. Not the boundary, but the conversation about the boundary. It’s time to lock in.

A final note

I did quite an interesting exercise with her in a previous session called the wheel of life. In it, you examine and rate the 12 areas of your life to gauge how you are feeling about where you are with everything. I’ll leave it with you below.

xx KP

Thanks for reading Take Note. Subscribe for future notes.